- Newark Free Speed Dating Events 2019
- Newark Free Speed Dating Events Today
- Newark Free Speed Dating Events 2020
Share Jersey City Video Speed Dating - Filter Off with your friends. Save Jersey City Video Speed Dating - Filter Off to your collection. Fri, Feb 12, 8:00 PM + 15 more event. However, the movie failed to capture the good things about speed dating — it can be efficient and fun in the right setting. We’ve compiled a list of 10 free sites where you can speed date and find speed dating events near you — as well as five online speed dating games where you can hone your skills from the comfort of your home.
This was originally published at BlogHer by Hilory Wagner. Reposted here with permission.
This is the conclusion to an article we posted last week titled “I Organized Speed Dating Events And Felt Like An 8-Minute Madam.”
My final events played out like the fitful struggles of any star-crossed relationship. My Halloween-themed “Dating’s Not So Scary Party” at a brewery was well-attended and lively, but the management was soured by the unimpressive amount of beer purchased by participants. The final event, though, was a two-month disaster in the making, and I blame myself.
Throughout my short career as an 8minuteMadame, I regularly received e-mails from singles over 40 wondering why there weren’t more events for our age group. Example: “Please plan an event that will enable me, a 56-year-old woman, to participate in the speed dating. I want to be honest and therefore will not crash the event planned for 47-year-olds.” Another woman wrote, “Please tell me what it is wrong with being over 35? Everything seems to revolve around younger people. Why? I just turned 40 and after reading the age group for your event I was offended.” Over 40 myself, I empathized and promised these people—my people—that I would be the one to turn this ship around.
I found another “olde taverne” type setting and arranged an event for the 42 to 54 age range. The day it was posted online was the day it sold out for women. Ticketmaster would have been proud. E-mails asking to be wait-listed blew up my inbox.
Only one man registered.
Days passed. Only one man was registered.
I sent word out to former customers. I asked friends and colleagues to alert their more distinguished single male friends. I posted and pleaded and marketed and advertised.
This is the point where I should have apologized to My Girls and cancelled the event. But I wanted so much for it to happen that I had another of my now-famous bad ideas. I would find the men where they lived—on Match.com. All I needed to do was search a reasonable radius for men in my target age range looking for women in that target age range. But because soliciting the men to pay for the event in this manner would not be appropriate, I offered them a free coupon for the event.
Yes, typing it out makes it sound so much worse than it did in my head, but I wanted so much for this event to happen. Offering free coupons meant this event would be pro bono for me—it would cost me money, actually. It was a literal labor of love. I did not blanket suitable suitors on Match.com but instead read every profile in this age range and explored their interests and personalities. Then I personally e-mailed them (after reinstating my own account—on my dime) and discussed the opportunity with each. I spent more time researching dates for these women than I ever did for myself. Eventually, I had my crew.
In the 24 hours before the event, I was out four, almost five, women. One wrote me the day prior asking if she could still get a refund, and I explained that because she was confirmed this was not the policy. “I’ll just show up then,” was her one-sentence, resigned e-mail reply. Three others cited sickness and a work obligation, and one was a no-show. This is when life takes a funny (in hindsight) turn, leaving me with too many men. Oh, the irony.
And although the men were as friendly and talkative as I had hoped they would be, the majority of them thought it appropriate to tell their dates that they were attending for free. Seriously? Let me tell you, the women had a hard time seeing my side of this story.
“According to the men that I spoke with, they all informed me that they were recruited by you,” one woman wrote me after the event. “This indicates to me that they were not seriously looking to meet anyone and they were just there because it was a free evening. Even though I did get a match, if anyone asks what I thought of the whole experience, I will inform them that I would not do it again as the men were there under false pretense, and certainly not with yourself as the Event Coordinator.”
Clearly, my well-intended enthusiasm was not well received, despite the fact that this woman actually got a date out of it. But whatever. I was tired, and felt like my 8minutes was up. I realized it was time to turn in my bell.
Love Lessons Learned
First: Cupid I am not. A yenta, or a Dolly Levi, I shall never be.
Next: Not so much a lesson as an insight. Speed-dating is one of many ways to meet a new love, but it is not right for everyone. When I consider why the concept attracted me so, and look back at the several men I met and dated—briefly—while serving as EO, it becomes clearer. I was a fan of the eight-minute date because that is what worked for me. At that time, as a single parent of two kids and two dogs, with a full-time job and a home to run, a speed date was all I could manage; all I could commit to.
To those of you newly looking, or still looking, or in the midst of packing up your bells and staplers, I say: Keep an open mind. Whether you speed date or slow date, you will likely get what you expect. If you show up expecting a freak show, you will meet a sideshow act. If you approach your encounters mindfully, you may find a rare common interest or a shared passion.
Although it might not be right for you, I think speed-dating represents the essence of why we date, despite our pasts, despite our disappointments. Hope keeps us on our toes. And every eight minutes, there’s more to hope for: that maybe, someday, there will be no need to ring for assistance.
Hilory Wagner is an author, national magazine contributor, and social mediaholic who blogs about the impacts of new age communications on our lives, work, and relationships. Visit her blog, “The Social Medium” (hilorywithano.wordpress.com) and follow her on Twitter (@hilorywagner).
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Newark Free Speed Dating Events 2019
“So, what do you like to do for fun?,' my date asks and I immediately panic. I showed up here with big expectations, curious about what speed dating is really like and hopeful I might at least meet someone intriguing. Now it's 10 seconds into Date One and I fear this was a terrible mistake. Five minutes per person can’t be that hard, right? He looks at me expectantly as I clutch my $5 house white wine and take a sip.
“I really love to... eat? Oh, and running. I enjoy that, too, sometimes.”
I came here tonight with the hopes of meeting my next boyfriend. Or, well, that’s what I was supposed to expect. In truth, I came here hoping for a funny story, something I could joke about with my friends as I recalled the things I do to try to salvage my struggling love life. I’ve developed a habit of reporting on dating culture — the good, the bad, and the ugly of trying to navigate love in your 20s. You’d think I’d have it figured out by now, but the truth is that I have a horrible track record in practice. Apps are exhausting, life is hectic, and I can never seem to attract the type of men I want to meet.
The natural solution to this? Attend a speed dating event. In theory, it’s an ideal format for busy people: seven dates, five minutes each, two hours of my night, max. As it turns out, speed dating is a bit like the old-school version of dating apps. It gives you the benefit of meeting several people in a short amount of time, which ups the odds that you’ll find someone you click with.
Michelle McSweeney, linguist and expert on digital relationships, says that speed dating can work well simply because of numbers: “It’s the Tinder idea. Get your face in front of as many other faces as possible,' she tells Elite Daily. Apparently it’s also important to make yourself stand out from the crowd. “The quality of relationship-defining memories predicts relationship satisfaction, so really good, emotionally intense and meaningful early memories can fuel a lifetime of love,” McSweeney says. “So if you do go speed dating, make sure it's memorable!” Challenge accepted.
I find NY Minute Dating online and sign up for an event called “Single Professionals, 20s and 30s,” which sounds more promising than others on the list like “Halloween Singles Party” or “Cougars and Cubs.” It’s $35 per event, which feels steep, but I take the plunge. I am a sophisticated Single Professional, and I intend to get my money’s worth.
I show up to the Muses 35 karaoke bar in Midtown Manhattan on a Friday night, dressed in a gray sweater tucked into a dark skirt with riding boots. It’s the same thing I wore to work, which feels very Single Professional and therefore makes me proud. The Girl in Charge greets me with a name tag and a slip of paper to write down everyone’s names. Apparently the way this works is that at the end of the night, we can each go online and submit the names of people we want to see again. Then we’ll find out in a few days whether we have any “matches.” This feels unnervingly like a real-world dating app where you’re sorting through men sitting there in the flesh, trying their hardest to make you swipe right on them.
The first people I meet are two women who showed up together. They’re adorable and good-natured about the whole thing, which makes me feel better immediately. One of them tells me she attended one of these events a year ago and met a guy she dated for a while. Having zero expectations is key, she says. You just have to have fun.
A few minutes after 7 p.m., Girl in Charge rings a bell, signaling the first date to begin. Date One is in a blue-and-white checked button-down and works in transportation. He looks like he’s probably in hisearly 30s, and he’s definitely nice enough, but I'm not super into him right off the bat. What really throws me is that initial question about my hobbies and my surprisingly pathetic response.
Wait, what do I actually like to do for fun? Am I THAT boring?
We chat for a few minutes about how he’s lived in the city for over a decade, so he knows it pretty well. I tell him I’m still new here, I’m from the South, I’m a writer, everything I can think of that would make me seem Interesting and Witty.
Next bell rings. Date Two wears glasses and works in I.T. He’s been to several speed dating events before. He gives me advice on the process, telling me it won’t do me any good to overthink it, the best thing to do is just let the conversation flow. This is also the point I remember this is a karaoke bar, as a girl 20 feet away starts screeching “I Will Always Love You” at a fever pitch so loud I can’t hear Date Two tell me about his hobbies. We pause for a moment and look at each other as we let the song play out. Great song, I comment, he agrees. The bell rings and I’m grateful.
Date Three is from Ukraine, but he’s lived in the States since he was 4 years old. I decide this is the perfect opportunity to tell him about my recent trip to Budapest, which I know isn’t really all that close to Ukraine, but of course, I’d love to visit Ukraine one day if I ever have the chance because it seems like a beautiful country and of course, I loved every moment of my time in Eastern Europe this summer.
He nods in silence. This is the moment I realize I’m going to be talking to myself for the entirety of the next five minutes. The music is only getting louder, so I’m leaning in until I’m about two inches from his ear and screaming about how much I love to write and can he tell I’m from the South because usually people can’t detect my accent. I think he tells me what he does for a living, but I can’t quite make it out, and the one piece of information I manage to gather is that he goes to a lot of concerts and is losing hearing in his left ear as a result. Thankfully I’m leaning into his right.
To my immense relief, Date Four wants to talk at me while I listen intently. He’s a native New Yorker, believe it or not, and his suit jacket tells me he probably works in finance (this assumption proves to be correct). The music seems to have calmed down a bit, which I later discover is because Girl in Charge asked the venue owners to please lower the volume because there is a serious event happening. My date decides to take full advantage of our brief five-minute window together:
“So, Sarah, why are you single?”
Newark Free Speed Dating Events Today
Well, then. Let’s just cut to the chase. I tell him I haven’t met anyone I really jive with, and his natural follow-up question is, “Well, what are you looking for?”
“Umm, I don’t know. Someone to hang out with?”
Jesus. I’m horrible at this. The biggest epiphany I’m having is that I’m incredibly bad at marketing myself in this setting. Put me in a job interview and I’ll dazzle you with the hard skills on my resume, but ask me about my hobbies and the best thing I can squeak out is, “I really love to eat!”
How very Single Professional of me.
Date Five wears a puffer vest and loves that I’m a writer. He’d be a writer full-time if he could, he says, but he’s really let his creative side go lately. He works with the homeless and he’s a DJ on the side, but if he had the time he’d write a whole book about dreams. The group behind us has moved on to belting out 'I’ll Make a Man Out of You” from Mulan, a classic, and I comment that it’s an excellent karaoke song choice. He asks me what my favorite Disney movie is, and the best thing I can think of is 101 Dalmatians. “Well, that’s a first,” he responds (for the record, I stand by this choice — it’s a quality film about familial loyalty and I refused to be convinced otherwise).
By Date Six, I’m most of the way through my house wine and have almost no voice left. At this point I’ve really embraced the “I love to eat” persona, and Date Six and I are thrilled to discover that we both enjoy Puerto Rican food. He says he can hear my Southern accent, which I find terribly offensive, but he assures me that he doesn’t think it’s a bad thing.
Newark Free Speed Dating Events 2020
The final date of the night works in HR. He’s somewhat of a regular at singles events, and he’s apparently quite comfortable in this setting. He asks me if I’m into comedy, at which point we both quote John Mulaney’s famous sketch about getting lost in New York: “It’s a grid system, motherf*cker, where you at?” I proceed to tell him that he simply must go to more comedy shows and there are so many in the city and really it’s quite cheap if you know where to look. I’m talking a lot, but truthfully I’m quite ready to be done with this and retreat back to my phone screen, where I can swipe away in silence without having to invent lame hobbies for myself.
The moment the event is over, I make my exit. Exhausted, I start venting to my roommate the moment I walk through the door. When I tell her about the “I love to eat” debacle, she can’t stop laughing. What Dates One through Seven didn’t know about me — what I never bothered to tell them — is that I have a veritable army of food allergies, meaning I don’t exactly qualify as a typical foodie. As I tell her about it, I start to realize how ridiculous I must have sounded the entire evening.
“Seriously, I wouldn’t even date me, I had nothing interesting to say!” I bemoan.
“So what you really learned is that you’re boring as hell,” Hannah responds. Thank god for honest friends.
The lesson I learned here wasn’t what I expected. I confess that I showed up thinking my dates would be the story, but the real narrative was my realization of how exceptionally uninteresting I must have sounded to these guys. Selling yourself as a potential partner is a lot different than selling yourself as an employee, and I’ve approached my dating life like a job interview when it has to be a lot more organic than that. For some reason — be it the manufactured setting or my own insecurities — I both oversold and undersold my interests in a way that made me seem totally unlike myself.
Maybe the moment I stop forcing it will be the moment things fall together. Until then, I’m giving speed dating and apps a break so I can get back to what I really love… food.